Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had the privilege of mediating two very different disputes. One resolved with a small but meaningful shift in position that opened the door to settlement. The other did not settle on the day, but ended with both sides better understanding their positions, and one side expressing an intention to re-engage. Both cases were complex. One was pre-issue and the other shortly before trial. Both were highly emotionally charged. And both offered powerful reminders of the value of calm, structured mediation.
As a Civil Mediation Council (CMC) registered mediator, I always ask for feedback after the conclusion of a mediation and in both matters, I received thoughtful and constructive feedback that affirms what I aim to bring to every mediation:
“Muiris was very effective in communicating the mediation process and ensuring all parties understood the next steps. He kept the process calm and measured, allowing us to focus on the issues and reach resolution.”
“Understood the issues in the case, and worked really hard to try and facilitate resolution of the case.“
Feedback like this is encouraging because it reflects the core principles I seek to embody in my mediations:
- Clarity of process: Making sure parties feel well-prepared and know what to expect.
- Calm authority: Creating a space that encourages focus and de-escalation.
- Persistence with sensitivity: Nudging parties to reflect, reconsider, and explore paths to agreement without pressure or judgment.
- Post-mediation engagement: Continuing support when appropriate, especially when resolution may take time.
There were also points of reflection. One participant rightly pointed out that in an online mediation (using zoom or teams) sometimes the mediator can enter a party’s private room at an inopportune moment. Going forward I will ensure that I use the chat or message facility to pre-warn the parties that I am about to enter their breakout room – a small but important point about etiquette and timing. Another felt that suggesting a move toward the middle ground between the parties may have risked encouraging a concession. I take both comments seriously and will review my practice.
From the mediator’s perspective, that suggestion to consider a modest movement was intended to highlight how their position might land with the other party. In the end, that reflection led to a small adjustment in their position — and a successful resolution.
These two cases, different as they were, reaffirm a constant in my practice: effective mediation is about trust, clarity, and skilled facilitation. Even where settlement is difficult, parties can leave the table with more insight, reduced hostility, and future options.
Above all, feedback — especially the kind that combines encouragement with thoughtful challenge — is essential to refining the craft. I’m grateful to the clients who shared theirs and have their permission to share their anonymised comments
If you’re interested in learning more about how I work or would like to discuss mediation options for an upcoming dispute, feel free to get in touch: www.muirislyonslegal.com
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